Little Red Corvette

Driving down the highway last night, spiritedly so to speak. I was passing everything that came my way. That riced out Honda? Passed! That old couple in the caddy? Easy pickings. The VW something? Ate my dust.

Then… then I saw it. The C5 Corvette. Red – as they should be. I rolled up next to him and gave it a few jumps. You know, let off the gas and then pop it… just a little. To let them know you mean business. He looked over at me, I stared him in the eye, a slight smile spreading across my face. I knew this was it. I’d been blowing everyone away with my little-modified MINI, he shall be no different.

Yeah, R53. Miltek exhaust, 17% pulley, DDM Intake, MSD Ignition, the usual suspects. She had been running great and felt even better. Sitting in her seats is like earning a chair at the Last Supper, like sitting on a down pillow with a slight westerly breeze coming off of a natural fed spring that’s heated to about 77.4 degrees. You know the feeling.

The radio was bumping some Public Enemy, I felt like a bad ass. At this moment, I was Babe Ruth, pointing to the bleachers right before hitting a home run. I’m that guy who always seems to find that break in traffic and zips around you. It’s that feeling you get when you pull out of your driveway after washing and waxing your MINI and everyone is giving you that look like “There goes one lucky person, I bet they satisfy their partner better than I satisfy mine!”

Back to the present though, I see his hands gripping tighter on the steering wheel, he’s getting ready to go. I slide a little deeper into my seat, preparing for the g-forces to throw me back, you know like when you’re walking against the wind, on a windy day, in Chicago, near the lake front, where there’s a chill coming off the lake. Yeah, that feeling.

I see his front end raise slightly and slammed my foot onto the gas, my exhaust roars to life and I hear the whine of the supercharger come in. You know the sound, like when you have a puppy, and he really wants to be let out, to do his business, and you know it’s going to be a lot of business because he hasn’t been let out in a while, and he’s pacing and whining. Yeah, really loud.

I look to my left, and he’s not there. He’s disappeared from the thrust of my engine. You know that thrust, like when you’re on top of your wife….errr… you know the feeling. Anyways…I smile to myself, this is it, I’ve taught that smug Corvette owner a lesson. I look up and see taillights…. becoming smaller dots in the distance…. from a Corvette…. that… that just… he…

I drive home to lick my wounds. It was a good day of street racing. I felt ok, but still, knowing that there’s a Corvette out there who just put a little MINI shaped silhouette on the wall with a line through it irks me.

It’s like that feeling you get… you know the feeling… when you lose a race. Yeah. It feels just like that. It felt Just like that.


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