It was a stormy night, I sat in my MINI huddled against the wind and cold. I thought to myself, “Dear lord winter can’t be here already?!” Little did I know the snow was coming. But I digress.Sitting in my car listening to “The Home Coming Queen has got a gun” and tuning my equalizer I heard what sounded like a “scritch scritch” on my passenger door. Ha Ha I thought to myself, it’s almost Halloween and I’m hearing things. So I turned the radio up a little and tuned the midrange band on my radio. I wasn’t nervous.
About 5 minutes go by and I hear another “scritch scritch”, but this time it was coming from the rear of my car, near the boot. Now, I have large trees in my yard, and a few falling branches from the large oaks wouldn’t be unheard of. But to touch my MINI? That’s unforgivable! So, a quick movement of my hand and foot, and I move forward a little bit out from under the trees.
Later I would be told by my wife, who was watching me out the window with the dogs, that I looked wide-eyed and scared out of my mind. That was far from the truth, I was singing along with the music, she was mistaken. The three skid marks from moving my car forward so fast were a coincidence.
Back to the radio, let’s turn this puppy up and take care of the high range now! With the radio screaming in my ear I dutifully adjust the EQ some more, getting that perfect sound from my MINI. That’s when I heard the “thump” on the roof of my MINI. I wasn’t under any trees this time… I was in the open air.
Looking back, I’m sure the door was already bent. It wasn’t from me “Vacating the car as if an elephant had passed gas in it” as my wife so elegantly put it. And those garbage cans being strewn across the driveway was not from “You trying to build a barrier against whatever was attacking you on the way into the house.” She has such an imagination. Also, I did not enter the house as if a pack of zombies was chasing me screaming like a small child.
What I remember was calmly got out of the car and looked at the roof. I saw the raccoon that was on it and said “Oh, he may have rabies, I should go into the house.” I then calmly closed the door and walked inside the house and told my wife the news that a raccoon was in the yard. She is so immature, zombies, ha!
And I didn’t appreciate all the laughter from her or the dogs.