With a nod to my friend Chris….

Pie! The word echoed through my mind for the 42nd time today. I needed pies and I didn’t care who knew. Down shifting I entered the turn a little too fast. I blip the throttle and swing the back end around to follow me through the corner. God I love this little MINI.

I spy my destination in the distance, McDonalds. What? They have pies there! Holiday pies as a matter fact, nectar of the gods! The drive though! My salvation, this way I don’t have to leave my baby alone in the parking lot. She doesn’t like that. It’s ok baby, I won’t leave you alone.

Sliding into the drive through I find myself behind, what’s this? A Kia Forte? Hmph, how dare they stop me from getting my pies….

I slam the door and rush over to the Kia. Reaching inside I grab the driver by the hair and drag him out through the window. He doesn’t even have time to set the parking brake and his car rolls forward, out of the lane and into a parking space. With a mighty right I quickly knock his head into a short orbit around the moon!

… finally he moved forward enough for me to get to the speaker.”Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?””uh, yeah, do you have holiday pies yet?””Dude, naw man. We don’t have them.”

DAMN! No pies! Fine, I’ll leave. A POX ON YOUR ESTABLISHMENT! You are dead to me, Ronald.

That Kia is still in the lot, he must have ordered his burger without onions or something. Let’s… just.. let our foot slip a little… and….. VROOM… Yeah, that’s the stuff baby!

Oh, someone wants to play? I notice a lowered car pull in next to me at the light. Decent rims also. That’s not too bad. Hey! It’s my friend the Kia. Better roll down my window.

“Is that thing Supercharged? Cause it sounds really nice!”

“Yeah it is! Wouldn’t have it any other way.” Gotta love a little supercharging in my MINI. Too bad no pies in my MINI though.

I up the revs a little bit and he does the same, this is as good enough night as any to blow the doors off a Kia. We both watch the light, I sneak a peek at the other side and notice it turning yellow. Gripping the steering wheel harder, I watch the light turn green and pop the clutch and ride the throttle.

He’s in front of me? Just a bit, but that’s just not right. I slam the throttle down as we’re rolling and feel the power surge through the engine, through my hands, and into my body. This is the feeling I’ve been searching for when I bought my MINI.

I hadn’t even left first gear when I notice that he’s slipped behind me a little. And by the time I slide into 2nd, he’s nothing but a couple little white lights in my rear view mirror. That’ll show him who’s boss!

Now where’s a Bakers Square.


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